Heidi Montag Hires Psychic as New Manager (for Only 99 Cents a Minute!)
March 11, 2010 | Celebrities
Heidi Montag has replaced hubby Spencer Pratt — who has managed the couple since the day they met nearly five years ago –- with a Malibu-based psychic named Aiden Chase.
“After the incredible experiences I have had healing my life and truly connecting to my dreams with healer intuitive Aiden Chase, I have officially asked him to become my manager. Having an intuitive psychic leading my team gives me an edge no one else has.”
And he is, indeed, intuitive. Why, just look at the vision Aiden has for Heidi’s future:
Spookily accurate, no?
Tags: heidi montag
What I Think His Breath Smells Like: Jon Gosselin
March 11, 2010 | Celebrities
Marlboro Menthol Lights, Rogaine, peach schnapps, Ed Hardy’s ass
Tags: Breath Smells Like...
Delusional Files: Lindsay Lohan Sues E-Trade for $100M Over “Milkaholic” Baby Ad
March 10, 2010 | Celebrities
With Lindsay Lohan’s acting career being, er, stalled, she has decided to pursue a new source of revenue: a truly stupid lawsuit.
LiLo is suing the financial company E-Trade for $100 million (!), insisting that a boyfriend-stealing, “milkaholic” baby — who happens to be named Lindsay — featured in its latest commercial was modeled after her.
I have considered suing E-Trade, myself, for inflicting emotional distress with those creepy talking babies who HAUNT me. But Lindsay’s lawsuit…? Just silly.
Lindsay’s lawyer claims the actress has the same single-name recognition as Oprah or Madonna. Only Lindsay is a slightly more common name. And Oprah and Madonna are slightly more iconic. Just slightly.
“Many celebrities are known by one name only, and E-Trade is using that knowledge to profit,” Lindsay’s ambulance chaser said.
A spokesman for the responsible ad agency is throwing cold milk (ha, haaaaaa!) on the controversy, saying it “just used a popular baby name that happened to be the name of someone on the account team.”
Not to mention nobody would ever associate Lindsay Lohan with something youthful these days.
Tags: lindsay lohan, Um Okay
Pop Quiz: Gerard Butler and Jennifer Aniston on Cover of ‘W’
March 10, 2010 | Celebrities, Media
Jennifer Aniston is thinking WHAT in this shot:
1. “Shit! I hope I remembered to TiVo ‘Real Housewives of New York’.”
2. “Would it be rude to offer Gerry a shot of Right Guard?”
3. “Bending my leg like this feels VERY comfortable. Really! *Ahem*”
4. “Is it just me, or am I slightly less clothed than Butler?”
5. “This shoot totally proves I don’t hate ‘W’ for the Brad-Angelina spread, right? Just look at my face! Breezy. Happy. Over it.”
6. None of the above. Jen is thinking ________________.
Tags: Gerard Butler, jennifer aniston, Pop Quiz
Mario Lopez is Trading in His Tight Shirts for Dad Jeans
March 10, 2010 | Celebrities
Mario Lopez, who has one of the most outgoing penises in Hollywood, is expecting his first child in the fall with girlfriend Courtney Mazza.
“I’m really excited. I’m happy. I can’t wait to be a dad,” A.C. Slater tells PEOPLE.
Mario, 36, and actress Courtney Mazza, 28, met in 2008 when the cheesy Extra host starred in A Chorus Line on Broadway. As you may remember, Mario was once married to Doritos hottie Ali Landry, who divorced his cheating behind after only two weeks, then he romanced Dancing with the Stars partner Karina Smirnoff, who broke up with his cheating behind after two years of dating.
Stellar relationship history aside, Mario claims he’s totally ready to be a daddy.
“I grew up in a large family,” Mario says. “I’m fired up! I don’t know what we’re having. I’m going to wait to see [the baby's gender] so it will be a surprise.”
He should totally entertain the kid by reciting old Saved by the Bell dialogue:
JESSIE: You macho pig.
SLATER: Oink oink, baby.
Like Shakespeare. Only deeper.
Tags: Yet More Celebrity Babies
R.I.P. Corey Haim
March 10, 2010 | Celebrities
1971 – 2010
Former teen star Corey Haim died this morning. He was 38.
Police Sgt. Michael Kammert said there was no evidence of foul play, while Police Sgt. William Mann told the Associated Press that the actor suffered with flu-like symptoms before his death and had obtained over-the-counter and prescription medications. “He could have succumbed to whatever [illness] he had, or it could have been drugs. Who knows?” said Mann. “He has had a drug problem in the past.”
Corey is survived by his frequent rehab customer punch-card and the memory of his truly awesome ’80s hair.
Tags: R.I.P.
