Amphetamines & Provigil & Inhalers… Oh, My!
November 13, 2007 | Pop Culture
As you may know, Britney Spears tested positive for an amphetamine drug — which a Taco Bell employee “Britney source” insisted was a result of the anti-narcolepsy medication, Provigil, that she had been prescribed by doctors.
Before I continue, two things:
1) In a former life, I dabbled in health care public relations and actually worked on the FDA approval of Provigil, which is — and I don’t mean to confuse you with fancy medical jargon here — some serious shit. Doctors prescribe it for the excessive daytime sleepiness associated with narcolepsy and, unless Britney has full-blown narcolepsy (which I suppose is possible, considering the way she slept through her VMAs performance), there is no way a doctor would prescribe it to her. She scored those meds from a tractor trailer driver. Mark my words.
2) Provigil is not an amphetamine.
Anyway, those hard-working sleuths over at TMZ uncovered #2 and probed a bit more. In response, Britney’s “source” now claims the positive result is from her inhaler for asthma. Which also is not classified as an amphetamine.
I wonder what else they’ll try to blame it on? We’ll see tomorrow when they go to court. My guess is Britney’s attorney will use the impenetrable Skittles defense…
Tags: britney spears
Happy Go Lucky
says:
wow candy–big ups on your investigative reporting–i woulda just been like ‘the bitch
is on drugs, NEXT!’
librarian kathleen
says:
Well, at least her teeth look o.k., unlike some
other celebrity types I won’t mention (oh, o.k., the self-destructive Amy Winehouse for one).
Scott
says:
You are funny! I wish I could be funny! I’m not! But I suppose I had a previous life as a comedian! Or I could be mistaken. Still, I love her. I’m not saying real love or anything; just think she’s cool! These celebs with kids they don’t take care of makes me think it’s time to get responsible and send money to some overseas scammer pretending she needs necessities, like a new cell phone or digital camera. Yeah, in a previous life I was responsible like that. Now I’m just a blogger, also with asthma and too many allergies.
jenner
says:
I guess they don’t realize how bad it looks when you keep skipping from excuse to excuse. I mean, excuses are bad enough, but when you’re all “IT’S THE PROVIGIL! Oh, it isn’t? Oh, OK then, IT’S THE ASTHMA INHALER!” – just… doesn’t look good, you know? I guess NONE of it looks good, but yeah, when the average 4 year old could see through that bullsh*t, it’s time to hang it up & admit your client likes teh drugs.
Exyank
says:
Next excuse: They’ll say she went out and her drink was spiked without her knowledge. Hey! Let’s start up a betting pool on lame excuses!
Bee Hind
says:
Or we could compile lists, so all she has to do is come here!
Just Me
says:
Is Britney! What did you expect from him?