An Open Letter to Joan Van Ark
December 3, 2007 | Pop Culture
I know you’ve been through a lot. Anyone who can survive having her newborn twins stolen at the hospital and being told they had died during childbirth has my utmost respect and sympathy. And while it was actually Val Ewing on Knots Landing who endured that nightmare, I’m sure playing those scenes was still gut-wrenching for you.
We all deal with such pain in different ways. Some cry. Others inhale a pint of Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Fudge Brownie Frozen Yogurt (note to self: replenish with trip to grocery store today). Yet others, it would appear, take it out on their face.
Sweetie, I want you to take a deep breath and repeat after me: “It is NOT my face’s fault that my twins were stolen and auctioned off on the illegal-adoption black market.”
Hard to admit, I know. But no amount of pulling, nipping, tucking, plumping and eyebrow tattooing will give you back that first year you lost with your stolen babies. OR the face you had when you were 20 years old. All you can do is move on with your life — and be thankful that you still have enough movement left in your face to form a semi-smile.
So let’s slowly step away from the doctor’s office, okay? Unless, of course, you’re just preparing your mug for a role as a burn victim on Nip/Tuck, in which case give that sexy Julian McMahon a big kiss for me!
Hugs, kisses and many pints of Ben & Jerry’s,
Tags: Open Letters