Holy Candy TV: A Tom Cruise Scientology Video-Inspired Slideshow!
January 17, 2008 | Pop Culture
Tired of the rerun wasteland known as TV? Or at least eager for something to pass the time till the next Rock of Love airs? Well, look no further…
By the power invested in me by Xenu, I present a slideshow certain to haunt your dreams tonight — yes, even more than that picture of Clay Aiken channeling Willy Wonka in Spamalot — which was inspired by Tom Cruise, Scientologist and by the chilling “alien transmission” music composed by 14, Gallery of the Absurdist.
You may ask why I’m awake at 2 a.m. posting a SLIDESHOW, for crying out loud. Well, all I can say is, I want to know that I’ve done everything I can do, every day. I do what I can. And I do it the way I do everything… [LAUGHS] … smart-assed.
Tags: CandyTV
midevil
says:
That is fucking brilliant! Wow!
PITA
says:
every person that I’m aware of that is a scientologist is smart, well-spoken, successful and well groomed. Would anyone care to give me examples of drug addicted, foul-mouthed, grungy scientologists in Hollywood? Just curious, but it seems they are doing something right along the line.
Holy Terror
says:
Candy this is brilliantly creative. This needs to be picked up by the major media outlets.
midevil
says:
Yes, $cientologists are very adapt at presenting a perfect ideal. Of course, behind the scenes, things are different–like the screaming matches that Tommy and Nicole used to have, eh. Compare it to the polished conservative politicians – they too, are quite successful at masking their vices, while the rest of us are amateurishly open about ours.
Vern
says:
They’re heeeeeeeere!
Bee Hind
says:
Bravo Candy & 14.
BRAVO!!!!
Javelin
says:
this seems like a slide show that might play as I’m arriving in Hell…
mette
says:
Mommy, Iøm scared…!
Jo Jo
says:
Very interesting. midevil–”polished conservative politicians?” Puh-leaze, there does not exist a more “polished politician,” albeit liberal, than the Democrats’ mannliest candidate, Hillary, and their prettiest candidate, John “The Breck Girl” Edwards.
Jenn F.
says:
14 is an absolute genius. Love her to bits.
Candy, what a fantastic job the two of you did putting this together… you’re the yang to her yin when it comes to all things creative.
midevil
says:
Jo JO,
My apologies–Clinton, albeit a woman, is still from the upper class scene.
librarian kathleen
says:
Candy & 14: In your talented and hilarious
and uncanny way, you have created what is
probably a more accurate, although brief,
profile of the S cult than many other, more
detailed debunkings.
(To those who aren’t up to speed: you really
need to do some reading about the S cult. It’s
been investigated by legitimate journalists
for a long time, at least since the 1980s.
What emerges from serious investigation is
a very troubling picture.)
MsTriste
says:
Brilliant! I can see why you stayed up till 2 to get it posted. Thanks!
How come we never hear about scient. doing anything good with all their money? Johnny Depp gave 2 million dollars to a hospital. But have you ever heard of one single positive thing Tom or any other scient. has ever done for those less fortunate than themselves? Perhaps if they were less selfish, people might be a little more inclined to cut them some slack.
And I’d rather hang out with someone hooked on drugs than a nutcase like Tom Cruise. A psychopath makes as much sense as the shit that comes out of Tom’s mouth. But that’s just me.
midevil
says:
I want to state here that the $cientology office in Toronto could use a few dollars towards its upkeep, given that it looks like a rundown slum building. $cientology money? Not in T.O., Tommy!
Holy Terror
says:
Where are ex-Scientologists? Has no one ever left? Have they never been infiltrated by journalists trying to get the inside scoop? Just gets weirder the more you think about it.
midevil
says:
Ex $cientologists do talk–but the Frim–er–$cientology–claims it’s just spiteful lies.
midevil
says:
fuck–I mean “Firm”
PITA
says:
why are you looking for “ex-scientologists”? people convert in religion all the time. I guess the few ex-scientologists just keep getting overshadowed by the mass amounts of “non-practicing” catholics. Because we all know what investigating the church reveals.
Vern
says:
They’re still heeeeeere!
Holy Terror
says:
That’s my point PITA, I’m looking for ex-Scientologists because we already have the scoop on the Catholic Church.
Eric C
says:
100 percent accurate! They walk amongst us, undetected. Learning from all us Suppressive Persons.