Brain Candy: Thursday Edition

Gallery of the Absurd and Holy Candy discover the Jay-Z Bling Turtle.

Angelina Jolie’s breastfeeding picture for W. Meanwhile, thousands of men line up to volunteer for any similar photo shoots. [Lainey]

Picasso’s got nothing on Suri Cruise. [Seriously? OMG!]

Mischa talks smack about Posh’s style, then goes back to… waiting for her agent to call. And waits…. and waits… [Smack]

If Beyonce “were a boy”… those metallic mini-dresses might be harder to pull off. [popbytes]

Hef talks about his split with Holly Madison. Highlights include: “Holly who? Where am I?” [Gabby]

Mary-Kate Olsen vants to suck your blood. And wash it down with a skim latte. [Ayyyy!]

A judge determines rehab never goes out of style. [CelebWarship]

Gerard Butler attacks photographer. Guess next time the pap should say “please!” [Holy Moly]

Brooke Hogan finally does us a favor. [POTP]