Paris Hilton Hooker Barbie® Edges Out Bratz Dolls to Claim “Skankiest Toy” Honor

October 4, 2008 | Celebrities, Satire

EL SEGUNDO, Calif. — With the holiday shopping season kicking off, gift-givers will be heading into the Barbie® aisle to find the doll anointed this season’s “skankiest toy.”

The Paris Hilton Hooker Barbie®, popular with young impressionable girls and D-list rockers seeking publicity, edged out some truly whorish toys to win the prestigious honor, including Bratz Dolls, the Hello Kitty vibrator and Hannah Montana: MySpace Edition.

“Hooker Barbie is low-rent fun the whole family can enjoy,” shares a Mattel representative, who reveals the company is also working on a plastic crab sidekick for the doll. “It’s a no-brainer she’d come out on top — her clothes are too tight, her vocabulary too limited and her legs too quick to open. Hooker Barbie is unmatched in terms of full-on skank.”

Mattel’s legal team vehemently noted that the company cannot be held responsible for anything consumers may contract upon touching the vapid, excessively-handled plastic doll. Using protection and avoiding the doll’s namesake’s new reality show is highly recommended for customers’ well-being.

Tags: wholesome family fun