Oprah Winfrey Buys Own State in ‘Oklahoma Purchase’

November 12, 2008 | Celebrities, Satire

OKLAHOMA CITY, Okla. — In an unprecedented real estate transaction, media mogul Oprah Winfrey is buying the state of Oklahoma from the U.S. government in what is being called “The Oklahoma Purchase.”

The Sooner State reportedly had been sitting on the market for months in the sluggish economy when Winfrey submitted an offer soon after the presidential election.  Although the final terms have not yet been made public, insiders say Winfrey purchased the state well below the government’s asking price.

A major producer of natural gas, oil and agriculture, Oklahoma will make a lucrative addition to Winfrey’s ever-increasing portfolio.  However, it seems Winfrey’s motives are not financially motivated.

“My first item of business is getting rid of the newspaper that refused to report Obama’s win,” fumed Winfrey from her Chicago HARPO offices.  “Damn racist fools.”

The transfer ceremony will take place on January 21, 2009, so as not to detract from Obama’s Inaugural Ceremonies, Winfrey also said.

Under the new ownership, the state will be officially renamed “Oprahoma.”

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