Archive for Posts Tagged ‘britney spears’

Least Appealing Celebrity Headline of the Day

December 13, 2009 | Celebrities

Don’t all line up at once now.

Tags: britney spears, Headline of the Day

Britney Spears Barely Sings or Dances in New Tour — Fun!

March 4, 2009 | Pop Culture

Brit-Brit’s first tour in five years, Circus, kicked off in New Orleans last night — and, despite a “circus-themed extravaganza featuring clowns, acrobats and jugglers,” Brit’s big “comeback” was disappointing, according to People, who said there “was a lack of joy in [Britney's] performance, which felt labored at times.” Also, she barely dances or sings. How entertaining!

But don’t worry; Brit has a back-up plan. She clearly plans to mesmerize audiences with her Bull’s-Eye Boobies!

Interesting, um, nipple accessories. Is it just me, or do they appear to be staring at us? Not only that, but they have distinct personalities. On the left, her boobies look alarmed, while the right-hand boobies look like sad clowns. What range! Clearly, they’re the real star of this tour.

Tags: britney spears

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Don’t Call It a Comeback

March 2, 2009 | Pop Culture

Britney Spears‘ “comeback” tour — also known as “The Spears’ Family Gravy Train” — has hit a teensy speed bump because, well, people aren’t buying tickets. Apparently, splashing out $100 – $750 to watch a sad lady lip synch isn’t appealing to folks in these recessionary times. Go figure.

“Group sales are down considerably,” says one person close to the production, “and then you’ve got individual tickets that cost as much as $500 apiece. That’s a lot of money to spend on an artist who isn’t a sure bet right now. . . She’s worked really, really hard to make this good. Granted, there’ve been some hiccups along the way, but she’s going to put on a good show. I just hope there are people there to see it. This is really her last chance.”

Don’t worry, Brit! I’m sure they’ll always have a place for you on The Surreal Life: Season 9. You and Alan Thicke will no doubt make fantastic roommates.

Tags: britney spears

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Britney Spears May Cancel Her Gravy Train Tour

February 2, 2009 | Pop Culture

Uh-oh… Britney Spears‘ empire and, more importantly, Frappuccino budget may be in peril because Britney is determined to cancel her Easy Money Tour if K-Fed doesn’t let her take the little Frapplets along with her.

TMZ reports that Britney, K-Fed and Papa Spears have been privately hashing out a plan to let the kids travel with Brit while she goes on tour. The plan is to have homes in three bases — New Jersey, New Orleans and Los Angeles. Sean and Jayden would stay in one of these three bases and mom would commute back and forth while doing concerts in each region.

Not only that, but Britney has offered pay Kevin $4,000 a week for each week she’s on tour, so K-Fed would have his own pad in each of the three bases and he wouldn’t even have to show up to get the money. In other words, a pretty sweet bribe.

When Kevin’s lawyers caught wind of the negotiation, however, they got pissed that Team Britney went behind their backs. The lawyers object to the plan but won’t say why. Which reminds me of a li’l joke…

Q: How do you get a group of lawyers to smile for a picture?
A: Just say “Fees!”

Tags: Babies, britney spears

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