Archive for Posts Tagged ‘Celebrities’

Claire Danes’ So-Called Married Life

February 7, 2009 | Pop Culture

Just so you know, I searched far and wide for unflattering paparazzi shots of these two to spice up this story — because, let’s face it, who doesn’t enjoy an unflattering paparazzi pic? — but I came up empty-handed.  Simply wanted you to know the productive ways I spend my time on the weekend.

Oh, and I just saw David Spade eating by himself at IHOP.  He was just as you’d expect, only even shorter and scruffier.  Like, Joaquin Phoenix-scruffy.  No joke.  I would also like to note that my chocolate chip pancakes were quite delicious, although my jeans have mysteriously gotten smaller since my chocolate-filled flapjack feast.  Weird.

Um, what did I come here to say?

Oh yeah. Claire Danes and her boyfriend of one year, Hugh Dancy, are engaged.  The end.

Now if you’ll excuse me,  pancake leftovers are calling my name.  As are my elastic waistband pants…

Tags: Celebrities, Engagement Alert

Yet Another Childhood Crush… Um, Crushed

February 5, 2009 | Pop Culture

First, George Michael and now, this “New” Kid on the Block.  When will these men stop coming out of the closet and breaking the heart of my inner 12-year-old?!

Oh, wait.  JONATHAN Knight, you say?  I thought you meant my boy, JORDAN Knight.  Phew!  Okay, carry on with your Brazilian model, Jonathan.  And I’ll return to writing “CANDY ANN KNIGHT” and “CANDY AND JORDAN — TLF!!!” in my Trapper Keeper.

Tags: Celebrities, Never Saw This Coming

Trudie Styler Must Be a Very Secure Woman

October 9, 2008 | Pop Culture

Um, Sting?  You’ve got a model stuck on your back.

Tags: Celebrities

Kudos, Dakota Fanning!

September 17, 2008 | Fashion Police

I remember the first time I saw Dakota Fanning.  It was the first time many of us saw her, in I Am Sam.  I also remember thinking, “Damn, that little girl just upstaged Sean Penn!”  Then I quickly perished the thought, because I’m quite certain Sean Penn has the power to read minds from thousands of miles away and cause naysayers to spontaneously combust by merely glancing in their direction.

And if I’d had Dakota’s talent, fame and money when I was 14, I definitely would have been whooping it up in a crack den somewhere.  But I didn’t, so I had to wait till college.

So kudos to Dakota for seemingly having her head on straight and, you know, looking like a teenager — no small feat in Hollywood these days.  *COUGH*  Ali Lohan  *COUGH*  Taylor Momsen.

Here she is at the premiere of Hounddog, an uplifting tale about a young girl who turns to Elvis for inspiration after suffering rape and abuse.  Sweet!  I love a good romantic comedy.

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Tags: Celebrities, dakota fanning

How is This Possible?

September 16, 2008 | Pop Culture

My mom exclaims it, oh, every three minutes or so:  “My, how time flies!”  She says it about her kids growing older, presidential administrations, her car, while wistfully reminiscing about the “delicious” tapioca pudding she had last week. I used to just smile and nod in response, and affectionately think, “This woman is crazier than a crack house rat.”

But I believe maybe something IS amiss with Grandfather Time now.  Like, Grandpa T must have a screw — or second hand — loose.  Because there is no WAY Lea Thompson is old enough to be this girl’s mother:

Is she?  I mean, “Caroline in the City” — which all my guy friends sweetly called “Caroline’s Little Titties” — was just on the air last year!  She was so young!  So not with teenage daughter!  Er… that was 1995, you say?

My, how time flies.

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Tags: Celebrities

Breaking: Bono Spotted Without Glasses!

August 11, 2008 | Pop Culture

…And spent the whole day wondering why the hell people were coming up to him and yelling, “Na-nu, na-nu!” and gushing that they loved his work in Mrs. Doubtfire.

Tags: Celebrities